Well.
Ya see. It's like this.
When I was a lad. Yes I know this reads like I'm an Old Codger, but I am an Old Codger
I would go to the pub. It sold beer and spirits and crisps,
Everyone smoked. Well, except me.
I've never smoked, so it never bothered me. Even now, I don't mind if people smoke.
Doesn't bother me at all.
Anyway. The young ones smoked cigarettes. The 'Old Boys' smoked a pipe,
they sat in their favorite chairs and drank beer from their favorite mugs.
All was equilibrium.
When I was a lad. Yes I know this reads like I'm an Old Codger, but I am an Old Codger
I would go to the pub. It sold beer and spirits and crisps,
Everyone smoked. Well, except me.
I've never smoked, so it never bothered me. Even now, I don't mind if people smoke.
Doesn't bother me at all.
Anyway. The young ones smoked cigarettes. The 'Old Boys' smoked a pipe,
they sat in their favorite chairs and drank beer from their favorite mugs.
All was equilibrium.
Then
some wag, who thought it would be a good idea, decided to ban smoking in places
like pubs etc..
Yes. Enough. I can hear you all shouting how good it is and how wonderful it is to see everyone stood outside smoking in the street.
But. Now hear is the 'But'.
Pubs have now been turned into places that sell beer, spirits, bags of stuff they call crisps but are every flavor from Pterodactyl and spam, to Guinness and cracked sea salt.
They also sell food. Great chalk boards cover the walls with today's special, which was the same as the day before but with an incorrect spelling this time. Or an item hastily rubbed out coz the cook dropped the saucepan.
So. To the point.
Now when I go to the pub, I can't find anywhere to sit and have a pint.
All the tables are 'Reserved' or taken by people having a bowl of over priced gruel and a glass of white wine.
"Ahh" you say, "It's the only way they can make money".
Very nice for everyone involved, well, except me.
So I get banished to the garden, with the smokers, to have my pint.
Since when did people like me, who just want to have a couple of beers and a chat with the locals, become such a pariah to society?
Why do I have to sit in the garden where everyone looks at me like I'm a danger to society.
I don't mind them tossing coins at me coz they think I'm a 'Still life Mime Artist Statue', but some days it rains and the white wash with runs into my pants.
Suppose I'll have to continue buying my 25 tins of Leopard Lager, for a fiver, from the supermarket and continue drinking in the park with the ducks.
Yes. Enough. I can hear you all shouting how good it is and how wonderful it is to see everyone stood outside smoking in the street.
But. Now hear is the 'But'.
Pubs have now been turned into places that sell beer, spirits, bags of stuff they call crisps but are every flavor from Pterodactyl and spam, to Guinness and cracked sea salt.
They also sell food. Great chalk boards cover the walls with today's special, which was the same as the day before but with an incorrect spelling this time. Or an item hastily rubbed out coz the cook dropped the saucepan.
So. To the point.
Now when I go to the pub, I can't find anywhere to sit and have a pint.
All the tables are 'Reserved' or taken by people having a bowl of over priced gruel and a glass of white wine.
"Ahh" you say, "It's the only way they can make money".
Very nice for everyone involved, well, except me.
So I get banished to the garden, with the smokers, to have my pint.
Since when did people like me, who just want to have a couple of beers and a chat with the locals, become such a pariah to society?
Why do I have to sit in the garden where everyone looks at me like I'm a danger to society.
I don't mind them tossing coins at me coz they think I'm a 'Still life Mime Artist Statue', but some days it rains and the white wash with runs into my pants.
Suppose I'll have to continue buying my 25 tins of Leopard Lager, for a fiver, from the supermarket and continue drinking in the park with the ducks.
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